Washed up
On shores of dissolved expectation
Red beaten
tenderized by
abrasive immobile
measures of grandiose
Illusions
Tear away
Rip tidal gruesome
Wake to woke to aching
Tethers
stark
barren bones
Indecisive truth
Patience developing
On beaches of invention
Washed up
Tag: queer
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I’ve been afraid
of likeness
of difference
could this be it all along?
Not so simple
deliciously complex
so challenged
I forgot what my abilities were
I forgot
that this is an
explanation
expansion
exploration
elevation
is it possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me?
i want my body to grow hair
i want these muscles
long hiding beneath thick layers of self doubt,
systematic dissatisfaction,
societal oppression,
laziness grown from supposed impossibility,
misshapen idealisms & quiet longings
to twitch, stir, strengthen, define new beauties, set new standards & show them selves
internally I’ve been so patient
externally I’ve been crying for a shift I couldn’t name
if I am able
I’ll listen, closer & with more honesty
this body is mine to create
I hadn’t been able to see that before
what power, I’m grateful for the responsibility
im not attempting anything other then to express myself
I know that instrument takes years to Learn & one cannot practice enough
I am not trying to become anything at all
I am looking to exist in ernest real time
Gemme that hermitude
move got to go add new flesh to these bones
sometimes it is messy messy
hang around if you enjoy loving disarray
I am my own art
my life speaks volumes
telling stories of my reality is my truth
allow me to begin again
ive been afraid
-
rain started
Tiny drops
Soft
ever changing rhythms
Searching out grief
Stuck to corners
no shape at all
Pivot
I don’t know
When did being wounded
Become endearing
This too
Must be
let go
Breaks to hear
A gust
Long distances
InBetween
As it is
Rain stopped -
In the sea, waves lapping at my face,
before, just a lake
How I’ve needed more room
to swim
Endlessly
Filling out formulating frequenting concepts
Fitting Sea
of ambiguity
If not now an ocean
Much to do with new
Far greater
Expansive eloquent elevations
Internal relative inspections
Sea to ocean to space
Unedited
Perhaps to never find the
Edges
Never to stop seeking -
Her name?
Her name was… Is… I feel I will never see her again, I wish it weren’t so.
She is one of the Greats and her presence was felt far before being seen. A glowing persona of feminine energy overlapped androgyny and was saturated with music.
Oh, how clearly I see her even between blinks.
I only have memory to paint her portrait and so I make this.
I could hold her entire body, softly & carefully in my arms. I could gently, with the tip of my nose, trace every piece & patch & nook & curve & follicle. I could swim in the milky ever shifting delicate skin that forms… her.
Our freckles may have mixed into each other, sharing, smiling & blissful. If given the chance, so much may have occurred. What a story it could have been.
We barely spoke, I wish there had been more time.